#Step-by-Step Approach

[billfarrah]

People love to clown on Wille for not having any “game” when it comes to Simon and saying dorky things like, “I got a haircut”, but in reality it’s this type of game or lack thereof that Simon is so attracted to - Wille’s earnest, shameless, and completely unarmoured interest in him. There’s no playing hard to get with Wille - so many people are too scared to be vulnerable to show the full extent of their interest out of fear of making a fool out of himself, but Wille continuously puts himself out there, letting Simon know how much he likes him and is into him and desires him, and I think Simon is actually really, really into that.

[princeandreis]

one thing that i think sets wilbur soot apart from a lot of other mcyts is he’s extremely mature in the way he goes about content creation. not in terms of the content itself, but in the way he goes about his career and how he interacts with other creators. he’s not close with many of them, but have you ever heard of wilbur soot having earnest beef with somebody online? nope, you haven’t, because he’s bigger than that.

there are so many petty squabbles and controversies that crop up online, and wilbur is always notably silent. that speaks volumes about his priorities. he seems to understand that jumping into those arguments serves 0 purpose and only fuels things further. (he’s also probably aware that joining in on controversy of any kind tarnishes his brand, so it’s a smart move from a purely PR standpoint.)

still, when things get really ugly and involve his friends, he encourages his community to show kindness above all else. take, for example, dream’s sexuality controversy on twitter in april. wilbur didn’t address it explicitly, but he went live (for a regular stream) perhaps a day or two after everything exploded and spoke about how important it is to be kind to other CCs (clip here). maybe i’m showing my bias because i’m primarily a dream team fan at heart, but it meant so much to hear someone who ordinarily is silent during controversy speak up in defense of his friend.

that’s another thing: wilbur and dream don’t even seem to be close friends, and wil still spoke in strong defense of him, in the name of decency and kindness. this wasn’t one of wilbur’s closest pals who was being attacked, but someone who’s a fellow content creator and friend. wilbur and dream have worked together many times and seem to get along well, and clearly there is a high degree of mutual respect between them. wilbur didn’t have to address the controversy, but he saw his friend’s name being dragged through the mud; so he asked his own audience to treat dream (without using his name) with respect. just as wilbur does. and that’s something he does with every CC he interacts with.

it’s sadly uncommon to see a mcyt who is so well-liked across the board, and who gets along with everyone he meets. if you ask me, it comes from wilbur’s experience in the industry. he’s been doing youtube and streaming for many years at this point and in many different circles, like soothouse, smplive, smpearth, the dream smp, etc. he’s educated in his field, and he’s now also working in music— i can tell you from personal experience that musicians who expect to go anywhere with their career have to be able to work with anyone, even the most difficult and insufferable kinds of people. you truly can’t expect to succeed in any creative field if you can’t adapt to your environment and work well with others. (wil is also just a naturally charismatic and funny guy, so he sets others at ease right away. not everyone has that gift!)

anyway, i just think it’s so neat to see a creator who does exactly the kind of content he wants (be it the most batshit-insane thing you’ve ever seen), succeeds at it, and also is held and holds others in high regard. it’s a testament to his passion for his work, as well as his love for others. i’m sure there are mcyts wil has worked with that he might personally dislike, but you’d never know because he treats everyone around him with the same kindness, decency, and authenticity that he does his closest friends. i love wilbur soot the end

[lasesmed]

I spent an inordinate amount of time designing this

[librarycards]

what sorts of things do you think can help people deal with their mental illness besides therapy/meds? i’m not saying i disagree with anti-psychiatry, and i have had bad experiences with psychiatrists/therapists for multiple reasons, but what kinds of things actually help? i’m on wait lists for free therapy and multiple of them have long way lists and hotlines don’t help me, i feel at a loss. and i kind of feel like being being this mentally ill would be a burden upon any friend/partner i could potentially have. i honestly don’t know what to do bc i haven’t improved in years

first, a clarification: i'm not anti-med, i am only anti-forced treatment. i think you'll find many, though not all, anti-psych (and adjacent) ppl with this view, which is often shoehorned in with broad anti-med shit both because of the dubious history of some antipsych figures and because of strawmanning by pro psych forces. but i digress.

there is no simple solution for crisis/ongoing suffering, especially because the actual biggest help to all of us would be the abolition of white supremacy / ableism / carceral neoliberal capitalism / settler colonialism / cisheteropatriarchy. absent this, we're left trying to fill in the gaps, collectively, as best we can, while always acknowledging that we are putting interpersonal band-aids on systemic harms.

with all that being said, i think the best place to start would be to take stock of what and who you have as resources: are there any friends you feel comfortable sitting beside or watching a movie with, even if you don't feel ready or comfortable sharing "deeper" stuff with them? do you have internet people, or a place where you can shout into the void (like tumblr)? is there a public space you can go to, like a park, where you can at least get out of the house for a little while and be alone among others?

i personally take medication, though i'm tapering one of the last ones i'm on, and chose to discontinue the myriad pills i was prescribed as an involuntary psych inpatient. this isn't because meds are inherently evil, but only because i didn't like who i was when i was on them, nor could i tolerate the conditions under which they were forced on me. absent these meds, i have found other ways to move through my own brainstuff: occasionally weed (e.g. right now), more often forcing myself to sit next to other people who i know will make sure i don't do anything shitty to myself (even if we're not in active conversation). i have a bunch of youtube videos, books, audiobooks, podcasts, etc. on deck.

i have throughout the last few years cultivated an online and in-person community in which i'm not "burdening" / "dumping" my shit onto one or even a couple individuals all the time. you're right that the full extent of what we experience is definitely too much for one other interlocutor to take - we're designed to live in community, not in isolated couples. it's also true that, while occasionally and contingently helpful, a professional counselor or therapist can be inaccessible, abusive/violent, etc. etc.

while you're waiting to experiment with the free therapy you mentioned, it might be a good idea to reach out to people you do trust to have a frank, meta-conversation about your respective relational needs. this can feel weird at first, but i autistically love it, and it's also common in a lot of kink/bdsm communities (of which there's plenty of ND overlap haha). rules can be freeing. you don't have to worry about violating unspoken boundaries when you've spoken them, and established nonjudgemental ways of enforcing them and holding each other accountable when you haven't. in the past, i've established these both verbally and in google docs, etc. i've also established it - and found it especially helpful - in situations where myself and the other person(s) experience different axes of privilege and marginalization. but regardless, it's a great way of self-designing the boundaries that in many cases we expect therapy to do for us - except, without the carceral impulse endemic to the psych practice.

i also think it's okay to acknowledge that you might be a burden sometimes, and that the people who love you will carry you. they know you'll do the same for them. part of being in relation to others is sometimes receiving more than we give - it's part of being alive, being vulnerable. let yourself be cared for, let yourself be heavy. think about how good it feels to fall into bed at the end of the day. rest is the first step to feeling a little better.

[heraldofaurene]

beautiful art people: do you have any tips on drawing charr? they vex and confound me :c

[max-nolastname]

jason todd, stephanie brown and duke thomas are absolutely the best robins for gotham; they have the knowledge and perspective on how to best serve their gotham because they actually grew up in the city. they have lived experiences with addiction, poverty, homelessness, foster care etc. that the others don’t have and there’s a lot they can bring to the table in terms of how to best help the most vulnerable populations of gotham. 

[marcspectrr]

Reasons why the way in which Marc and Layla's relationship was physically depicted is so special.

I feel like Layla was the first one to initiate any kind of comfort, specifically in the form of touch.

And Marc doesn't know how to receive it, at first. Hint; his past relational experiences are to thank for this.

Wendy's care pairing with abuse heavily plays into Marc's organizing principles (mind frames and references for things like self perceptions and views on the world), specifically his attachment style. She was whom he recieved both love and abuse from in a short span of formative years, leading to Marc developing a fearful-avoidant attachment style as a kid. He wants the attachment but doesn't know how to adapt to the provider's (Wendy in this case) behavior to receive it.

This style is considered 'disorganized' in adulthood, mainly from the inconsistency in behavior. It's why he left Layla the moment he saw her at risk of getting hurt because of him but couldn't say goodbye, why he sent the divorce papers but couldn't sign them, why he tries to apologize on the boat but can't bring himself to tell the full truth. He doesn't want to lose her. He wants her, but also withdraws out of fear of her learning his secrets, seeing him in the way he sees himself, and abandoning him.

Now, going back to Layla being the first to initiate physical comfort, this is why it's so significant. Marc's attachment style is undoubtedly a reminder of his physical abuse, but attachment styles can be relearned and healed with certain steps.

Openness.

Layla's openness early on in the relationship essentially helps Marc 'relearn' his attachment, and touch is a big part of it, I feel. Her safe brushes and tender gestures followed by commitment deeply contrast his organizing principle of believing care often coincides with hurt and believing he's unloveable. Instead of reinforcing his fears, she disproves them, therefore helping him heal.

Here on the boat is a canon example of this. Layla is reaching out to him, both emotionally and physically, offering him her hands, providing a safe place for him to open up. And it's clearly a comfort for him, something I imagine they do without even thinking. It's so subtle and yet just as meaningful.

Acceptance.

Marc had to feel accepted to some degree before they decided to get married but he clearly oscillates between feeling accepted and severely ashamed. Not only from 'murdering' his brother but also of the other lives he's taken, of his enslavement to Khonshu, of his disorder...

Here, I know this is Layla and Steven, but it's deeper than that, ya know? It's Steven finally having a moment of falling apart, and Layla finally seeing that this isn't her husband. But instead of pushing him away, they carefully drop to their knees and she verbally and physically reassures him. She's going to help him, help get them out of danger and help him figure it all out, to the best of her abilities, and just accepts him. And it absolutely kills me that we see Marc in the background, what he must be thinking, underneath him begging for the body, at seeing her work through it all like that.

Throughout episode 3, we get a lot of them showing their intimacy. The boat scene, obviously, but at Mogart's as well.

Even though they're posing as newlyweds, it's clear they're comfortable like this.

And in an argument, Marc's body language shows he knows Layla wouldn't hurt him, which is just so telling on where they're at emotionally with each other, even after months apart.

The comfort that stems from their physical intimacy helps challenge Marc's organizing principles and consequently promotes secure attachment. Their emotional intimacy was/is closely tied to their physical intimacy because of this, I feel. Once Layla made the first move, even just a soft caress or a hand hold, Marc began to relearn touch and its meanings. It was and remains to be a process of learning to trust each other and become vulnerable in that way, sometimes compensating for those moments where talking doesn't come so easily for them. Yes this last photo is Marc and Layla shh.

So. Reasons why the ways it was depicted are so special. On top of the cultural differences between displays of intimacy in the middle east versus western society, I think it's just refreshing to see it portrayed in these ways ^.

And I think it's obvious I hc touch is their love language, showing their affections with kisses on hands and foreheads and early morning massages and some late nights with Layla curled up in his side and others with Marc's head in her lap with her arm draped across his chest and a hand absent-mindedly running through his hair.

[ghostputty]

🏄 for alexia, virve, and dorart !!!

this would be the funniest crossover episode

oc outfit ask game !!!

[yupuffin]

Listen. Cosplayers, listen.

"Comparison is the thief of joy" is an idiom for a reason.

As someone who's had my mental state absolutely ruined by being constantly compared to other people for my entire life, I think the cosplay "community" could really benefit from not taking the competition aspect quite so seriously.

Yes, cosplay contests are perhaps THE main event of basically any convention or gathering that involves cosplay--but it being a competition is primarily to give the audience a reason to attend and see everyone show off their work--some tension and excitement, in the form of anticipating who will bring home the rewards.

In reality, the existence of the competition format doesn't necessarily mean any cosplayers inherently deserve awards more than any other, or because any cosplayer is ~ better ~ than any other. It's for the audience. For the cosplayer, cosplay doesn't have to be about the competition, about constantly comparing yourself to others or even to your past self.

In fact, it's probably healthier for you, and the cosplay "community" as a whole, if it's not.

Cosplay is an art first and foremost--each piece has inherent worth and value just by being created, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to cosplay. Some people have been doing it longer than others, or may use different tools or techniques from others, but there are no "elite" cosplayers, and there isn't a cosplay "community" as long as people still put so much emphasis on awards and comparing each other as they currently do.

Even if you're only comparing yourself to your past self--your current work to your past work--constant pressure to improve with every single piece can be unhealthy, or even as toxic as comparing it to the work of a completely different person.

As an artist, you have to be okay with making mediocre art. Not everything you make is going to be a masterpiece. You will not necessarily see improvement in your skills with each individual work. You can't make great art without also making a lot of meh art in between. If it harms your enjoyment of cosplay as a hobby not to continuously make pieces that are better than all the last ones, you're likely going to spend a lot of cosplay time being disappointed instead of having fun.

This is just my personal opinion of the competition format, though. I'm not saying we have to do away with competitions entirely--I just really think they should be taken less seriously and emphasis should be removed from what comparisons are being made and instead put on supporting and welcoming every cosplayer, regardless of their skill level or ability, actual or perceived, because the "quality" of a cosplayer's art does not determine the value of the piece or of the artist. At least, that's if we really want the cosplay "community" to be a COMMUNITY.

If you'd like, you can treat cosplay as a sport instead of an art form--but you can't build a true "community" on wanting to be ~ better ~ than everyone else in the room.

By the way, everything I've said in this post also applies to dance.

(...And likely every other form of art out there as well, but cosplay and dance are where I have experience.)

[ironinkpen]

[tachyon-omlette]

contemplating if I should develop Helix's character arc beyond their backstory mostly because I want their stage 1 endgame to be getting a reformat & becoming a chemist named Hexyl

[sidetongue]

In this story I threw a rope toy which harold got to first. Wylie decided it was highly valuable, and when he missed out, he redirected on harold and bit him out of frustration. Not hard enough to injure, but harder than a play bite, and hard enough to trigger a reaction from harold. Haz gave a BIG snarl, told him to back off, and Wylie snapped out of it. Haz then gave him a warning stare with some lip licks, reinforcing that it was not an appropriate interaction, and Wylie stood back and reflected on his actions.  side characters include Moby strategically ignoring the squabble to sneak away with the prize, budgie appearing out of nowhere to offer appeasement behaviours to Daz, Russell trying to figure out if Wylie has nipples, and Miller sitting back and watching like it’s just another friday 

[wardensantoineandevka]

As much shit as I talk about shippers, and specific cohorts of shippers, the people I actually distrust most and am most wary of in the CritRole fandom are those SUPER obsessed with Laura and Liam as Twinnies~! and Liam and Sam as The Husbands and insist on saying Twinnies and The Husbands as often as possible.

[gofancyninjaworld]

From webcomic to manga: is there a responsible adult?

One scene that I had been expecting to show up in the manga now looks unlikely to happen (not impossible, just unlikely): the scene of an angry Child Emperor working alone at his secret base, scandalized at the failure of the few heroes he looked up to to show when it mattered.

In the manga, the pressure Child Emperor is under in Class S has been both more explicit, and more outrageous. He’s directly consulted for his technical expertise. He has the unpleasant job of having to try to manage the S-Class -- for ambitious, grown-ass adults, they fight shockingly shy of taking responsibility -- in all their fractious glory. It would also seem that he’s one of the few people who can talk to Metal Knight at all, although it’s not a great relationship. Far from joining forces, Metal Knight washes his hands of the whole affair, much to Child Emperor’s dismay, and goes incommunicado, saying only that there’s a mole somewhere in the camp. 

We really were all set up to see his dwindling faith in his fellow heroes crumble in high-definition. Doubly so when Phoenixman gets a claw on Child Emperor and starts working his poisonous persuasion on him.

Instead...

...we learn that there’s at least one person he’s been able to look up to, who looks out for him. Zombieman has been an unlikely role model for Child Emperor and being reminded that he’s out there thinking about him despite everything was exactly what the boy needed to remember why he was doing the things he was.

We’re shown more than once that others do actively look to protect him.

We find out that troublesome and idiosyncratic as the S-Class is, they’re all decent heroes at heart. When Atomic Samurai of all people decides to get off his high horse and coordinate the other heroes to help take down Psykos-Orochi, the shock and gratitude on Child Emperor’s face speaks volumes.  Indeed, whatever happened in the rest of the arc, they did not let him down.

When he’s doubting his judgement, Zombieman reminded him that it’s okay to be human and to have things to learn. If anything, being able to acknowledge that is the opposite of a sign of failure. It’s an important lesson to learn so young.

I like too that Zombieman points out that he’s not the only reasonable adult whom Child Emperor can approach for help and advice.  Very important that: it’s too easy to try to monopolise a young person’s admiration for oneself.

And now, let’s talk about the heroes who let him down so badly in the webcomic.

 Blast did show up when it mattered most that he did. Very few saw him (and in the current timeline he didn’t need to step in to take on Garou) but he was there. A pity Child Emperor didn’t see him in person but at least he got to hear of it. Albeit in terms that Blast might not have liked but it’s not like the old man is going to show up and correct the record, is it?

Even Metal Knight did good. They may not have been on speaking terms any longer, and he may not have shown up in battle, but his prompt clean up of the radioactive fallout and rounding up survivors for treatment went a long way to mitigating the damage done that day. Guess we won’t be getting to see our heroes dying of leukemia just yet.

Wow, what an experience it’s been for our youngest hero!

He’s at that age where kids may be acquiring a decent degree of functional independence but still need to know that there are older, wiser heads looking out for them and reliable hands to reach out to them. In a way, we never outgrow that -- interdependence is the healthy human state after all -- but knowing that there are some reliable adults out there really makes all the difference in shaping a child’s life to a good adulthood. No joke, people who have turned out okay despite a difficult childhood do speak of having had at least *one* good adult in their lives, even if it was someone they saw only infrequently.

What I really have liked about this is that wholesome as it is, the different experience that Child Emperor has of his fellow heroes does not come about because they’re just super-sweet versions of their webcomic originals. If anything, they’re much more complex people.

What is the case is that they’re credible heroes rather than overpowered do-gooders who have put little work into thinking what they need to do to actually *be* heroes. It stretches one’s disbelief that the guys we see in the webcomic could successfully have been presented to the public as their heroes year after year (and the backlash against the Hero Association speaks to a sense of public betrayal). The webcomic makes it work because the Monster Association debacle was very small and contained but the threat is a lot more serious in the manga, and heroes-in-name-only just won’t cut it. The backlash is probably going to be just as severe though. People just don’t forgive being left in pain, and unfortunately, there is a lot of pain.

Trouble is, Child Emperor is unlikely to forget what Phoenixman told him. Somehow, that poison is going to work its way through and how it comes out remains to be seen.

In short, I love this development but I am still anxious about little Isamu. At the end of the day, he’s still a child who has been captured by adults and tasked with looking after them. I would love nothing better than for him to be able to have playdates with Waganma, Tareo, and their hangers-on, just to be a child again for a while at times. For the breathing space.

Good luck, Isamu-kun!

[vargaslovinghours]

It’s all fun and games until you get a bad ending

[beatsforbrothels]

DJ Krush - Zen Approach (ft. Black Thought) [Cradle Mix]